In 2005, I was in love with a boy–there were days when he loved me, too. I used to think that I would never get over him, this was partly because I was listening to too much Joni Mitchell while I was trying (and failing miserably) to keep everything platonic between us.

Circa 2005  Kathrina would believe everything she hears on her iPod shuffle. In that case, Joni Mitchell’s A Case of You. Because I believed her, the moment she so-honestly croon from the speakers how she’s drawn to the ones that ain’t afraid. 

Joni Mitchell’s Blue could easily be the background music to most of the times I (thought I) fell in love. Like Neko Case’s This Tornado Loves You which was dedicated from one lover to the next, Joni Mitchell’s Blue had a song for each time I fell in love.

I would not blame Joni for being abused as a dedication, because Joni Mitchell never lies. Every single song in Blue talks about a raw emotion, in the most precise way possible, one would even feel, that Joni wrote it for them. Hearing her sing in Blue is like listening to an old friend, to someone familiar who understands how it is to be selfish and sad and lose someone you care about, someone who feels your longing, someone who has been insecure.

These days, I am thankful I do not have to overuse Joni Mitchell’s A Case of You as a juvenile dedication to a boy I pine for–a boy who would not love me back.  These days, I just want to be the one that someone sees, I just want to make him a sweater and make him a love letter. Because yes, Joni Mitchell, says so.