I guess it is a bad thing whenever I un-dedicate one song from a previous love and dedicate it to the next. Recycling love songs is one of the few things I do to let go of feelings I had for a previous lover, to reassign the words so that there is no more association to an old flame.
I guess I have done this enough times so that I will never have to associate Neko Case’s This Tornado Loves You, nor Postal Service’s Be Still My Heart to a friend I never have to talk to anymore.
This is the reason why I refuse to completely dedicate Spiritualized’s Ladies and Gentlemen We are Floating in Space to any boy with hopes that it becomes the song to play in my wedding.
But there are, of course, songs which are too specific I do not think reassignment to another lover is possible. Perhaps it is because the feelings attached to these songs were too strong or that the meaning is too fit to the boy who owned it.
The Shins’ Kissing the Lipless is for an old flame. I remember discovering the song when I was seeing someone new, then. Because I had too much to wear on my sleeves and it had too much to do with him. It is not very relevant now, the part about my sleeves, but I guess the association stuck.
Incubus’ Summer Romance reminds me of that boy I dated back when I was still in law school. I remember the song, the law books, the library, and a simulation of the feelings I had for the said boy, but not him–not him entirely.
I wonder what songs were associated to me by the boys who had my heart, if there were any. If these songs had remained associated to the Kath they knew back then (or to the Kath now, as in the case of N). I wonder, too, if these boys even knew what songs were for them–back when it was still theirs.